Gifted Children



 
Gifted Children

Register

Introductions

Any Questions?

Parents Support Forum

Book Forum

Playgroups & Preschools Forum

Schooling Forum

Suggestions

 

 
Home  Resources  Schools  Forums  Links  Hosted Sites

Welcome Visitor - Editor Login

Forums

Extreme Separation Anxiety

Hi, I am new to this forum. I have a son who is just 4. We have not had him assessed for giftedness but he is extremely clever with adavnced language skills and many other characteristics of a gifted child. He started preschool at the beginning of this year and has always been upset when I drop him off. His anxiety starts usually on a Sunday when the week is starting and he knows Wednesday is coming (his preschool day). Then by Tuesday night he is in tears in anticipation not to mention the Wednesday morning or when I drop him off. Just wondering if any other parents have had this problem and if you have any strategies. He only attends one day a week but will be going 2 next year. We are very happy with the preschool who have been very supportive. I would love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation. I have tried everything that I can think of!
Date: 21-November-2012 @ 4:18 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 3713
Status: Approved
Author: tsmum

Re: Extreme Separation Anxiety

There are many strategies for this, and I'm sure you will receive lots of helpful advice. I'm just saying this because you may not hear it from anyone else. Is there any particular reason why you are sending your child to preschool? Is it because you need to go and work? If not, then you may want to consider that there is a lot of research to show that the first five years of development are very important, and that this is the time that children bond with one primary carer, usually the mother. I know that there is a lot of expectation these days on parents sending their kids early to preschool, daycare, school etc., however, this is not necessarily best practice for every child. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty either way, and I know for a lot of parents they don't have a choice because of financial reasons. Considering that a lot of gifted kids are introverts and find social situations highly stressful, coupled with sensitivities and other factors, it might be worthwhile keeping your child at home with you. Some parents baulk at this because they think their child will then never grow out of their anxiety. However, some kids just need more time with their primary carer. I homeschool my two gifted kids, both of whom HATED the whole preschool thing, one because of anxiety, the other because it was boring and thought being at home was far more stimulating. As teenagers, they are both great socially and have wonderful friendships. I know of other parents who have homeschooled extremely anxious kids, only to have them go to school later in life and do very very well. Some of them are in the performing arts!
I'm not trying to influence you either way - just please don't consider preschool as necessary because "everyone else does it" or because "my child needs the stimulation" or "they won't develop socially". Your child could be saying "I'm just not ready for this yet!!!"
If keeping him at home for a while isn't an option, then sorry, just ignore this post. Like I said, I'm sure you'll receive lots of great advice. Good Luck!
Date: 21-November-2012 @ 5:02 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 2414
Status: Approved
Author: wendyharris

Re: Extreme Separation Anxiety

Thank you for your reply Wendy. I appreciate your thoughts. It is a difficult one. I am an early childhood teacher and do a lot with him at home. I have trouble with my husband who thinks more along the lines that he just needs to get over it and we need to push him and keep going so he gets used to it in time to go to school. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do. He does enjoy his day when he is there, it's just the separation. He was a bit better yesterday so I am hoping that we are over the worst of it. We have a 6 week holiday coming up also so I hope that that might help him and then we can start again next week. Thanks again for your reply and I will keep what you have said in mind.
Date: 29-November-2012 @ 7:45 am
Rating: 0
Views: 2463
Status: Approved
Author: tsmum

Re: Extreme Separation Anxiety

Good luck with your situation tsmum. It's always good to get different viewpoints and as an ECE teacher, you are no doubt aware that the first 5 years are very important. I am an ECE teacher too and for that very reason had decided pre-kids to stay at home until they were all at school. BUT, then I actually became a mum!! I have 3 children under school age and with their intensities etc, I really benefit from having one day a week without them! It sounds harsh and it may not be what's best for them individually, but it is what's best for us as a family because it gives me that much needed breath of fresh air. I can appreciate them much more with that small bit of time to recharge and get some of my own intellectual stimulation. It has taken me several years and some depression to get to this stage of prioritising my self-care. I wish I'd gotten there sooner.
Date: 29-November-2012 @ 9:54 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 2373
Status: Approved
Author: threebee

Re: Extreme Separation Anxiety

Forgot the bit about the anxiety! My daughter has been very anxious as a four year old and it's just in the 2nd half of her year at kindy that this has really eased and she is thriving. We didn't do anything differently, she's just taken that amount of time to become completely comfortable in her setting and with her peers. She may revert back to being highly anxious when starting school next year or she may keep her newfound confidence, we'll have to wait and see.

Date: 29-November-2012 @ 9:57 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 3046
Status: Approved
Author: threebee

Back to thread listGo to previous threadGo to next thread


MathSmart - an investment in numeracy

Advertising

© 2019 Gifted Children Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions