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Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

We recently found out that my 6 year old son is gifted, and I have always thought he was clever, but at other times I have found myself outright asking him "what is wrong with you??" as I've been so frustrated at him not being able to get normal daily activities done. My son has trouble with: Getting dressed, he has to be reminded to keep going with it. Sometimes he's in such a dreamland that he will put his day time clothes over his pyjamas! Forgets to flush the button after going to the toilet, even after number twos. Needs to be prompted to keep going with writing out his spelling words for homework, as he stops to talk over and over. When it's time to get in the car he will sit in the chair looking into space instead of putting his shoes on, even though I've told him to get them on, and we're in a hurry. Not sure if this is related, but he is a messy eater, his clothes, the table and floor are a mess after eating. I made the mistake of letting him do some painting the other day and I was almost in tears when I saw the mess he had made. My son's teachers keep saying he needs to focus. Often the other kids have finished their work and my son has barely started. I know I shouldn't compare children, but I have a 4 year old who is way ahead with all of these things. Does anyone else's child have these problems, or is it just mine?
Date: 24-November-2009 @ 11:37 am
Rating: 0
Views: 15330
Status: Approved
Author: branjie

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

ok well I guess it's just mine then.
Date: 23-December-2009 @ 5:27 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9557
Status: Approved
Author: branjie

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

No no no, so me, but i just figure everyone must be getting sick of me posting LOL Is your child visual spatial? have you read anything by Linda Silverman? I found this really helpful. From my reading the 'space cadet' thing is quite common. Drives me insane. GOt your trousers on? Shoes on? Well, when I say put clean undies on, I really implied, take the old ones off first THEN put the new ones on. You are not alone!
Date: 23-December-2009 @ 10:26 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9572
Status: Approved
Author: soniaf

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Thanks Sonia. I don't know what visial spatial means, I'll have to look that one up, and no I haven't read anything by Linda Silverman. The psychologist reckons he may have ADHD, and we're going to see an OT about some things including helping him get himself organised re. tasks at school and home. As for reading, I haven't really known where to start. Thanks for your ideas :).
Date: 2-January-2010 @ 5:19 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9591
Status: Approved
Author: branjie

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Hi Branjie, I have just finished reading upside down brilliance by Linda Silverman and it was.... well brilliant! There is a lot of cross over between ADHD symptoms and highly gifted VS learners! I got mine from the local library but it's on amazon etc too. Good luck!!! I'd love to hear what you think.... sonia
Date: 9-January-2010 @ 4:37 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9565
Status: Approved
Author: soniaf

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Hi Sonia, I can't find that book at my local libraries or eBay, I may have to search some book stores. On your advice I looked up about visial spatial learners. My son definitely sounds like one of those. Next I'm going to have to work out what to do about it....Thanks for your input. I feel like I'm getting closer to being able to understand and help him.
Date: 11-January-2010 @ 2:44 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9525
Status: Approved
Author: branjie

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

So glad I could be of help.. and here is some more info, this site is MUUUCH cheaper than ordering it from america where it seems to be very expensive. These guys printed some copies under license in Aus. http://www.australiangiftedsupport.com/gpage5.html Good luck! s
Date: 11-January-2010 @ 8:57 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9557
Status: Approved
Author: soniaf

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

So glad I could be of help.. and here is some more info, this site is MUUUCH cheaper than ordering it from america where it seems to be very expensive. These guys printed some copies under license in Aus. http://www.australiangiftedsupport.com/gpage5.html Good luck! s
Date: 11-January-2010 @ 8:57 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9535
Status: Approved
Author: soniaf

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Oh I forgot to add this very important bit! You can order the CHILD HANDBOOK of the book as an e-book, it's only about US$14 and you get it really fast, mine arrived the same day. http://www.visual-learners.com/if-you-could-see-the-way-i-think.html great place to start, my son loved it and read it a few times in a couple of days. HTH
Date: 11-January-2010 @ 9:10 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9563
Status: Approved
Author: soniaf

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Thanks. Gosh that book is still a bit pricey, wish I could find it at the library. Will look for the Child Handbook e-book. We went to the OT this week. They talked a lot about sensory integration issues, and think he can be helped a lot by OT relating to that. We are going to give it a go.
Date: 15-January-2010 @ 2:44 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9571
Status: Approved
Author: branjie

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

good luck!! at least the ebook is a lot cheaper, let us know how you go!
Date: 17-January-2010 @ 12:15 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9575
Status: Approved
Author: soniaf

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Oh wow, youve just described my children to a tee! My eldest is very VS - he was doing 50 piece jigsaws at just turned 2 years old. And very very very disorganised and absent minded. I must go and google Linda Silverman!!!
Date: 24-February-2010 @ 2:16 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9650
Status: Approved
Author: tycoel

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

We have a 6 1/2 year old son who sounds identical to yours, and - like you - a 4 yr old who is much better at basic tasks. The 6 1/2 year old always finishes his meals with most of his food plastered over his face, and he has no idea that he looks unusual. Our 6 1/2 is highly gifted in maths in particular, but his reading and writing is about average. Does this sound similar? We are working with a consultant who has suggested that we take him to a developmental optometrist. We haven't done so yet, but we can let you know if it helps explain any of the vague/clumsy behaviour.
Date: 15-February-2010 @ 12:55 am
Rating: 0
Views: 9541
Status: Approved
Author: Huxolni

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

We have been to a behavioural optometrist. They said my son's vision is good, but his eyes don't work that well together. He has glasses which are suppposed to be correcting it. To be honest, I don't see that the glasses have helped him at all. Most of the time, they are so dirty he can barely see through them. I tell him not to touch the lenses, but I think he fiddles with them. Anyway, since I last wrote, my son has been diagnosed with having Sensory Processing Disorder. Only an occupational therapist can diagnose this, and they are treating him for it. My son's teacher in reception (prep) said we should see an OT about my son's handwriting, but the OT assessment cost $330, and the wait at the public hospital is two years. I wasn't sure he needed an OT. Anyway, we didn't get it done then, and I'm absolutely kicking myself because the earlier it is treated, the better the success of the treatment. You might want to look up sensory processing disorder on the net. It's where their senses are over or under sensitive. It sounds like your son may overstimulated/overwhelmed by taking in all that's going on around him, making it hard for him to focus on what he's supposed to be doing. In that way he's over sensitive. Like your son, my son walks around with food on his face, not realising, in that area he's undersensitive. On the other hand he's over sensitive to food textures, and tends to prefer softer food, bread, cheese and milk. My son is also sensory seeking. At home, he gets off the couch and has to run up and down the house. If he's not doing that, he'll often be bouncing up and down on the couch which drives my hubby around the bend. He also overreacts to unexpected sounds or touch. If we go out and he's not mentally stimulated by what's going on, or doesn't have his sensory seeking fulfilled (like holding some gooey slime, or something else to fiddle with) he's such a livewire, his behaviour is over the top and quite embarressing. O.K enough rambling from me. Let me know if this sounds like your son, or if you have any questions. You could also try calling a private OT that deals with kids, mention your son's issues re. organisation, paying attention, not noticing food on his face, and see if they would like to assess him (I'm pretty sure they would). Here's a page from the website of the OT my son is seeing. http://www.childdevelopment.com.au/index.php/understanding_your_child/content/sensory_processing/
Date: 15-February-2010 @ 2:58 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9646
Status: Approved
Author: branjie

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Thanks for sharing that. I don't think Sensory Processing Disorder quite matches the behaviour of our son, but perhaps someone else will relate to what you have described. It sounds tough. One similarity is that our son's kindy teacher recommended that he see an OT for some developmental abnormalities when he was about 4 (untidy, messy eater, uncoordinated, poor muscle tone). He saw an in-school OT a few times, who recommended lots of wheel barrow races and time on the monkey bars to build his strength. He's now pretty normal physically, but not really a natural at sport. We're now more interested in what is going on in his head, and why he is such a contradiction (brilliant with numbers but often puts ALL his clothes on backwards and/or inside out). He is also very good at recalling origami folds in the correct order (e.g. he can memorise 20+ steps of a complex design without any trouble), but when he makes the design it is extremely imprecise and scrunched, but he doesn't mind a bit. He enjoys the process and doesn't care much what the end product looks like. Anyway, I think an OT would probably find enough to make them interested in assessing our son, but most of his behaviours aren't a problem - they are just curiosities that we are struggling to make sense of.
Date: 15-February-2010 @ 11:06 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9637
Status: Approved
Author: Huxolni

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Please let me know how you go, as the bottom part of your post sounds exactly like my second son (3YO). he does not have the co-ordination/muscle tone problems, but constantly puts clothes on backwards, shoes on the wrong feet - and prefers them like that, can follow complex instructions but does not care for the outcome etc. The exact opposite of our gifted 5YO!!
Date: 2-March-2010 @ 12:59 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 10453
Status: Approved
Author: 3merrymen

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

I find it all very amusing! My DD (4 & 1/2) is exactly the same. Insists her shoes are on the correct feet when they aren't, has the grubbiest handwriting in her class, prefers to be spoon fed her breakfast in the morning etc etc. She is also "gifted and accelerated" but spends most of her time with her head in the clouds! I am at a loss at what to do, I have decided just to go with the flow for now.
Date: 28-March-2010 @ 8:35 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9518
Status: Approved
Author: Bron

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Thanks for your responses. Interesting to hear that others are in the same boat. My son is doing better in school in grade two, as the things they are learning about are more interesting. Reception and grade one were too boring for him. Anyway, the OT has been really helpful. I would recommend anyone how has issues with their child's hand writing, and/or lack of ability to notice clothes twisted, shoes on wrong feet etc. may want to see an OT. It's amazing how some of the things we do help. Baby has woken up, got to run, hopefully I'll be able to explain more of what I'm trying to say soon.
Date: 29-March-2010 @ 10:57 am
Rating: 0
Views: 10066
Status: Approved
Author: branjie

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Hi we are taking our 4yr old daughter to see a Pediatric OT this week. We too have issues with handwriting/colouring in, clothes twisted, shoes on wrong feet also. Very bright spatially though. Can't wait to find out what the OT will help us with. can you give some prior advice as to what to ask the OT? thanks
Date: 11-May-2010 @ 10:08 am
Rating: 0
Views: 9538
Status: Approved
Author: Trescrof

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

The OT will probably do a thorough assessment on the first visit, and the things that you have mentioned will be identified as things she needs help with. I guess it would be good to ask what will be happening at each visit. My son spends time practicing writing with the OT for the first bit, then we go into a big gym kind of room and the OT talks to me while he plays, then gets him involved in some activites that we can try at home which may help. You could ask how many visits she thinks will be required. Largely this depends on how much you practice techniques at home though. With three young kids, I'm finding it hard to fit as much practice in as we should be doing. You could ask if you will be doing brushing and deep pressure. Look up brushing OT on the web to see about that before you go if you like. This technique has been the most effective one we have used so far. My son can't do up buttons before we do that, but afterwards he can! It is really important for me to do it before school so he can organise himself and focus. This morning I just didn't have time and I feel really guilty. Look up sensory processing disorder on the net. This is what your OT will be assessing for. I don't like using that label, so we don't really talk about it at home. We do however use the techniques that are recommended for this disorder, and for our son, they really do work. Good luck :)
Date: 12-May-2010 @ 1:02 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9525
Status: Approved
Author: branjie

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Thanks so much for the insight and will definitely look up sensory processing disorder and brushing OT. We have three young kids also (4, 2 and 4 months) so I really need to ensure I get more organised so I can fit in practice techniques at home - especially as I will be back at work soon. I too at times feel very guilty for shuffling my older two off to daycare and wishing I had either been more patient or spent more time with them. Organisation and planning will be the key here. thanks for the advice :)
Date: 12-May-2010 @ 1:15 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9906
Status: Approved
Author: Trescrof

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

HI,
I think this could be a very serious problem that you've encountered for this time but you need to have an enough time to watch and teach your child the proper and exact action to be done..
Let him/her feel/know the what is a real world to be...
Let him/her became wise to do thing in a proper way out..





Date: 22-November-2010 @ 11:43 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9564
Status: Approved
Author: cuinee

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Hi - don't sweat it. My fourteen year old is still absent minded - but incredibly switched on when something peaks her interested. You see, they're just boring mundane details! He's prob. thinking about more engaging things. Does not help, thought, when it comes time to go to school. Explain this to him - appeal to his sense of rationale. Good luck.
Date: 29-November-2010 @ 1:08 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 12606
Status: Approved
Author: Shelby

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Hi, I agree with Shelby totally.
My son now 7, is almost late for school every day, except that I remind him of each step- uniform, socks, shoes etc otherwise he is off in a daydream or reading. It's funny, he's keen to learn about DNA yet still not able to tie his laces properly. His handwriting is terrible ( I know he can write neater- he did when copying a friend) to him that isn't very important- his mind is going so fast that his hand can't keep up. Yes he's lovingly absent-minded- I say that because I come from a family full of these characters. My Uncle (in his 60's) my brother (in his 30's) ample cousins, now my son. These family members grew up to have rewarding lifes, with occupations that continue to stimulate their intellect, if they get bored they usually do further education or branch out to something a little different. They are still absent minded to an extent- we just smile lovingly- that's just who they've always been.
So, to conclude- my 7 year old is quite absent-minded, I go with the flow - stimulating his mind with the things he's keen to learn and guiding him gently on the importance of getting dressed for school and having writing that is neat enough to be understood and many other things he finds of the boring nature. It can get frustrating at times, although, it was all those years ago my mum and grandma were in the same boat as I am in now with my son.. It's obviously quite normal among the gifted. (I'm glad it's not just our family)
Date: 26-March-2012 @ 12:25 pm
Rating: 5
Views: 9486
Status: Approved
Author: MichelleUW

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

Well, three years on, my son hasn't changed. One thing has helped a lot with getting ready for school. I have put a list of tasks on the pantry door. Each one has a photo of my son doing the task(eg. Brushing teeth). Photos make it so my son has a moment of clarity about what needs to be done, and I get to feel like I'm not nagging.
Date: 26-March-2012 @ 1:43 pm
Rating: 5
Views: 9494
Status: Approved
Author: branjie

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

My son is a gifted 6 year old and it almost sounds as if your describing him! I coach him through meals, getting ready for school, shoes go on the wrong feet, doing school work is slow and he daydreams. I find it's hard work micro-managing it all. It's very comforting to know you are out there. I too have been using a whiteboard to write his morning, afternoon and evening routines. I don't use pictures though.
Date: 26-March-2012 @ 6:52 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9820
Status: Approved
Author: Neenie

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

I am new to this forum and have found this fascinating - especially how common it is that gifted kids do not notice food on their faces. My 7 year old son would have a vegemite sandwich for lunch and when I picked him up every day I would be so embarressed to see vegemite on his nose, smeared with dirt, etc! He started getting picked on with kids calling him 'vegemite face'. I tried to explain that he needed to look in the mirror and wash his face! It didn't work and instead he now just refuses to take vegemite sandwiches to school. He also takes ages to get dressed because he is daydreaming, puts his trousers on backwards, comes out of the toilet with his shirt tucked into his undies, etc. Yet he will play lateral thinking quizzes for hours and nag everyone to give him more problems to solve. Unfortunately he is also vague about names and finds it very hard to remember even names of kids he has known forever. He will also go hyper and jump up and down and literally squeal if he sees something funny on TV but can sit and concentrate for hours on mazes and puzzle books. So glad to hear that these all seem to be relatively 'normal' traits for gifted kids. Sadly, his behaviour with age peers is totally inappropriate and he spends most playtimes by himself. He says he prefers this and I believe that often he does enjoy just being in his own little dream world - but eventually I am sure he will become known as that 'weird' kid. Not sure how to find other similar kids within the school - any ideas? Sorry for the long post - just so excited to know I am not alone.
Date: 19-April-2012 @ 11:10 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 9534
Status: Approved
Author: Naz

Re: Anyone else's child too absent minded to get daily activities done?

My son does everything your son does. He has been very lucky to find a couple of similar kids to hang out with. He became friends with the first one by inviting him to his birthday party. He had realized he liked this kid, but I don't think they had even spoken before that. Even still, my son spaces out a lot instead of interacting with his friends. My son has been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome which has explained his quirky behaviour, right down to the sensory issues which lead to food left on his face, and not noticing if his pants are tucked in. Because of his diagnosis, his grandparents are now a bit more understanding re. His lack of social skills. One "expert" refers to someone with aspergers as someone who has something more interesting to do than socialize. It's definitely the case with my son. You could try getting your son into a social skills group which might help. I'm not taking my son at this stage as he's not motivated to learn social skills, as he's happy with his two friends. Your son may be lonely, and therefore motivated. I don't think you need a referral, but the classes can be expensive. Good luck with your son, I hope things improve.
Date: 20-April-2012 @ 1:32 pm
Rating: 0
Views: 10617
Status: Approved
Author: branjie

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